MY Life.

2009-02-20T01:51:00.000+08:00

fuckin' asshole.

2009-02-01T22:02:00.001+08:00

trying out livejournal for awhile haha.

http://puredistaste.livejournal.com/

2009-01-01T19:31:00.001+08:00

hoping most fervently.
just waiting.

2008-12-28T03:20:00.000+08:00

and how i wonder..

i must be going outta my mind.

cheers.

2008-12-19T13:04:00.002+08:00

time is just ridiculous.
i can just puke whatever there was out,
i swear.

2008-12-13T20:18:00.002+08:00

multi-faceted

tiredness takes over frm the chalet.
it's alright yet it's not.

i wanna do something cos i'm so bored!

2008-12-04T00:26:00.002+08:00

i hate this.

ain't i old enough?

maybe that's why.

2008-12-01T03:15:00.003+08:00

configuration

i'm free :)

and i'm bored alr.

alil confused, happy, sad, disappointed, angry, irrtitated.

stil confused.

i wonder why.

goodnight hah.

2008-11-12T22:49:00.002+08:00

"i think we'll go until we can't go further."

2008-10-31T17:56:00.001+08:00

slighted.

2 more days.
thankfully.

all the best.

2008-10-18T17:36:00.000+08:00

denying the consequent

A Dictionary of Psychology
denying the consequent n. In conditional reasoning, arguing validly from a hypothetical proposition of the form If p then q that, because q is false, therefore p is false. For example, given the proposition If the burglars entered by the front door, then they forced the lock, it is valid to deduce from the fact that the burglars did not force the lock that they did not enter by the front door. Also called modus tollens. Compare affirming the antecedent, affirming the consequent, denying the antecedent.

sth new here here haha.

2008-10-18T17:29:00.002+08:00

inner santum

oh yes sushi buffet is wonderful :)
despite the fats.
but balling did it.

i'm over and done with school finally!
with all the exchanging of gifts and picture taking,
feels indifferent still.

now for the next 2wks is intense books and paper.
distractions and playthings aside,
so ganna ace this man.

cheers to 5 more wks.
cheers to the world.
and cheers to many great returns.

till many wks ltr :)
bye.

2008-10-10T22:15:00.001+08:00

to attend the RED party

Bright cold silver moon
Tonight alone in my room
You were here just yesterday
Slight turn of a head
Eyes down when you said
I guess I need my life to change
Seems like some thing's just aren't the same
What could I say?

I'll need a little more luck than a little bit
Cuz everytime I get stuck the words won't fit
And every time that I try I get tongue tied
I'll need a little good luck to get my by
I'll need a little more help than a little bit
Like a perfect one word no one's heard yet
Cuz every time that I try I get tongue tied
I'll need a little good luck to get me by this time

I'm staring up at the stars
I wonder just where you are
You feel a million miles away
Was it something I said?
Or something I never did
Or was I always in the way
Could someone tell me what to say
To just make you stay

I'll need a little more luck than a little bit
Cuz everytime I get stuck the words won't fit
And every time that I try I get tongue tied
I'll need a little good luck to get my by
I'll need a little more help than a little bit
Like a perfect one word no one's heard yet
Cuz every time that I try I get tongue tied
I'll need a little good luck to get me by this time

I know it feels like the end
Don't wanna be here again
And we could help each other off the ground
So we never fall down again
And what it takes, I don't care
We're gonna make it, I swear
And we could help each other off the ground
So we never fall down again, again

I'll need a little more luck than a little bit
Cuz everytime I get stuck the words won't fit
And every time that I try I get tongue tied
I'll need a little good luck to get my by
I'll need a little more help than a little bit
Like a perfect one word no one's heard yet
Cuz every time that I try I get tongue tied
I'll need a little good luck to get me by this time

I know it feels like the end
Don't wanna be here again
And we could help each other off the ground
So we never fall down again
And what it takes, I don't care
We're gonna make it, I swear
And we could help each other off the ground
So we never fall down again

not quite a bad song-thou too similar to many of the rest.

2008-10-02T22:52:00.003+08:00

basic dilemma

30 more days and we'll all be seperated!
hah.
quick get me out man.
the ppl are so..drastically changing.

2008-09-07T22:43:00.002+08:00

pleasure or discomfort?

take your pick.
or rather, discomfort before pleasure.

damn final term, final lap, final chance.

take care.
todds.

2008-08-29T22:12:00.002+08:00

oh, what a way to put it.

finally blogging again hah.
prelims are over!
2wks and i cant take it, imagine as'.

well yup.
"oh what a way to put it".

62 days and counting..

2008-07-11T22:22:00.001+08:00

-light in you eyes-

Blessid Union of Souls

2008-07-11T22:19:00.001+08:00

1) i disappoint my friends.

2) i disappoint my family.

3) i disappoint ..

4) i'm a disgrace and i'm a disappointment.

2008-07-07T15:16:00.001+08:00

my lifeline is limited.

no ball.

2008-07-07T03:17:00.002+08:00

choices

the path of success or failure.
the dilemma of truth or lies.
the choice of friends or nemisis.
the knowledge of good or evil.
the sense of euphoria or depress.
the feeling of love or hate.
the drip of tears or blood.
the sight of courage or fear.
the sound of happiness or sorrow.

the taste of sweet or bitter.

the touch of soft or hard.

the power to choose or not.

2008-06-28T19:07:00.001+08:00

2008-06-24T22:32:00.002+08:00

train ride

to your destination fast.
moving on and on.
but if you stay in the cabin,
you'd just be brought back to square one.

at each stop:
it gains and it loses.
clear the space to allow more to enter.
no more space?
let out some but always allow new to come.
delightfully not dreadfully.

breakdowns-
it needs a breather.
fix it.
get back to its job.
but it keeps moving on.

speedy-that's its speed.
that's how life will go.
until wear and tear takes over.
it's a goner and it cannot be used again.

but it served it's purpose.
hard and well.

2008-06-17T22:49:00.003+08:00

BASKETBALL

the round orange ball.
i'm in love with it.
i love basketball.

lovely ball that we played on sat and mon ytd :)
thou was very upsetting cos my spot was no longer mine lol.
gotta start playing, training, loving :)

damn sch's reopening :(
very sad.

all cried out. no worries!

2008-06-13T01:18:00.001+08:00

and then she asked so how're you?
and i said all's well.

2008-06-07T04:44:00.001+08:00

slow decay.

so shagged..
but there's lots to do.

bye
:) cheers!

2008-06-01T00:06:00.001+08:00

right there.

there i did it.

2008-05-31T05:12:00.002+08:00

goodness i realised i was so fucked bout things last time.
bigtime.
and it is FUCKIN' disgusting.
(feel like deleting/abolishing things)

YUCK YUCK YUCK!

never live thinking you can just fuck your way through man.

sorry i just feel so disgusted at myself lol.

2008-05-31T04:33:00.002+08:00

done and out;

ohyes midyrs are over and smoked hah.
just caught narnia. great movie worth watching.
:)

many many wrong doings.
wrong decisions.
the choice is mine.

2008-04-06T01:42:00.002+08:00

my randomness is.. HUMILIATING.

I feel like a hero.
and you are my heroine.
do you know that your love is the sweetest sin?

2008-03-30T22:26:00.002+08:00

DARKLIGHT.

things were going well at first.

now it's kind falling apart.

i'm feeling very uneasy.

feeling very scared.

i'm scared.

save me.

i dunno what's gonna happen.

i dunno what i'm gonna do.

GETTING SCARED; imogen heap

turn your ugly face
are you so surprised to see me
yeah I was your little childhood playground toy
and if I remember
yeah if I do remember rightly
I said the tables would be turned around boy

who's getting scared now
tell me, tell me how does it feel
it feels so good from where I'm standing

the only times in my life
the sun was meant to shine for me
you made it pour down, pour down with tears of rain

dug my pride with a knife
encaged by your obsession with me
time for some mental torture and screams of justified pain

so ya gonna chase me now boy
yeah ya gonna corner me now boy
you think ya gonna threaten me now boy
somehow I don't think so

yeah ya gonna stamp me down now boy
yeah ya gonna crush me down now boy
you think ya gonna threaten me now boy
well somehow I don't think so

who's getting scared now,
tell me, tell me how does it feel
it feels so good from where I'm standing

yeah you're getting scared now, piggy,
go ahead and squeal
it sounds so nice from where I'm standing.
who's getting scared now,
tell me, tell me how does it feel
it feels so good from where I'm standing

yeah you're getting scared now, piggy,
go ahead and squeal
it sounds so nice from where I'm standing
from where I'm standing

who's getting scared?
who's getting scared now?

2008-03-10T01:21:00.003+08:00

revisit.

dang i realised i havent blogged for like ages.

anyway it's the 1week hols.
finally a break!
so sick of school, bball. everything in general.
i wonder what i did in the past.
guess it's just karma.

so i got an E for chinese haha!
i passed thank God. well and a merit for oral so considered not that bad eh?
now's waiting for pw. after all the effort.....pls.

had a major row with the folks on sat.
not that i don't respect them or what but..ah whatever.

well i was looking and thinking back at stuffs.
i realised that things do change.
people do change; tons.
think back and ask yourself why.
i tried. i guess.
but is it true that aometimes somethings just can't be answered?
Socrates thought otherwise.
if not why'd many people commit suicide just by thinking and finding for answers.
hah. answer that.

so we've been talking bout our lives. lives we had since sec 1.
over the small table at coffeebean.
inside that cosy but COLD room.
laughing our heads off like nobody's business as if we're the only ones there.
haha. and the best, it was midweek of of CT week haha!
how great. prepared to flunk.

sometimes i wonder what's with the mask that we all have on.
is it cos we want to protect ourselves?
or protect the ones we love.
or is it just pure selfishness, greed, pride, ego, narcissism.
i dunno i have no idea.
but i know..i know that i myself, am a fake.
i think i can't get along with people but i make it happen,
and at the end of the day guess what?
i'm just as sore and sick of myself and ofcourse disgusted as ever.
i think people dislike me, for what i do, for how i act,
but guess what?
i pretend that they don't and just let it get in the way,
and at the end of the day..
i'm just someone who's just waiting.
for hell what i hve no idea.

thinking back..
i guess i did not have much fun as i wanted or did.
things don't turn out the way you want so you throw your tantrums.

sec 1..
sec 2..
sec 3..
sec 4..

JC 1..i'm growing.
JC 2..i know i've grown. (atleast i guess i did)

i never thought i'd have the maturity to think the things the way i do now.
i never thought i'd care more bout somethings than i did before.
i never thought i'd find a group of really good friends that will stick and stay.
i never thought..

random but malaysia trip's this fri!
both happy but not haha.
imagine us as a 'team'(if that's what you call it) going to malaysia to have fun and enjoy and ofcourse play.
how i wonder again,

i'm off to bathe haha at this time yeah.
tmr i'll guess i'll go to sch.

oh btw..

oxymoron is not a word in the dictionary.
ok well atleast in the 2 dictionaries i have a home.
go check it out :)

bye.
(i realised, my life is as dull as ever. i wished i'd choosen the other path at the beginning of last year)

2007-12-22T23:36:00.000+08:00

hello world.

haha once again it's december and i still despise december lol.
but the 1st 2 weeks were hell lota fun :)

china-lijiang. 021207-071207
memories edged in my mind.
"in memories we are rich".
:)

bball chalet-pasir ris. 101207-111207
bbq in the rain.
drinks with the girls.
:)

pharmaceutical camp-nus. 121207-141207
new 'friends' and this lovely ogl haha.
lotsa new knowledge and love for the course itself.
thou was still boring.
:)

holiday-malaysia. 141207-161207
shopped round.
eat. sleep. relax (just what i need).
:)

3rd week on. was just sch and trng which was ok and all.
now and coming i still have not started any work.
and teacher wants me, a totally wrong choice, to explain some things to the class. LOL!

anyway..
i feel so distant frm ppl i miss alot.

lucia: hehs i just miss you la. like for so so long.
wish there's be time soon for us to go out or sth.
and also with the rest. :)
i'm sorry.

ro-wen: you're missed too aft bumping into you like ages ago haha.
hopefully see you soon and pls pls i hope sch's well for you?

friends who i care and know that i do (assumingly haha): i do la ok.

tc world.

merry christmas and a happy new year! (why dont i feel celebartory?)
i wonder. haha.

take care.

2007-11-11T00:27:00.000+08:00

PERSONAL

Temperament
Energetic

Your energy is boundless - you are racing ahead to some goal, dream or opportunity that lies before you. And you always make sure that you are two steps ahead of the pack. You move so fast through life that you sometimes forget to take time to smell the "proverbial" rose. Channel your energy into what lies immediately ahead of you and your future will be full of even more exciting happenings.

Interests
Thrill Seeker

You are interested in anything that is exciting and pleasurable. You're not afraid to indulge yourself - you live by your own set of rules and don't allow yourself to get hung on what others think. For the most part, you are independent and do whatever you please to do. Trying to stop you from doing something only makes you want it even more. At the end of the day - you live for life's most thrilling moments.

Amusement
Adventurous

It's a good thing that you are filled with energy and ambitions (that others sometimes find exhausting) because you're continually looking for a new adventure and exciting experience. You struggle with a continual feeling of restlessness which constantly pushes you to the next level of excitement. Once you have accomplished one thing, you are eager to accomplish something more exciting, riskier and distinguishable.

Passion
Physical
You are a cuddle bug - from a warm hug shared with your best friend to steamy sex with your partner, you enjoy every bit of human contact that you can get. You demonstrate your love for others most fluidly through physical one-on-one contact and you feel the most loved when you are being touched. You feel disconnected when you are physically isolated from others. You're a people person and a lover of all things human.

haha. this is rather relatively positively true. ;)

2007-11-02T00:43:00.000+08:00

SENSES revived.

Fantasy love is much better than reality love.
Never doing it is very exciting.
The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet.

I always wished I had died,
and I still wish that,
because I could have gotten the whole thing over with.

I am a deeply superficial person.

People need to be made more aware of the
need to work at learning how to live because
life is so quick and sometimes it goes away too quickly.

Sex is more exciting on the screen and between the pages
than between the sheets.

The most exciting thing is not doing it.
If you fall in love with someone and never do it,
it's much more exciting.

They always say time changes things,
but you actually have to change them yourself.

Isn't life a series of images that change as they repeat themselves?

andywarhol.

2007-11-02T00:36:00.000+08:00

photoplay.

the events, characters and firms depicted in this photoplay are fictitious.
any similarities to actual person, living or dead,
or to actual events or firms is purely coincedential.
ownership of this motion picture is protected by the copyright
and other applicable laws,
and any unauthorised duplication, distribution or exhibition
of this motion picture could result in criminal prosecution
as well as civil liability.

all rights reserved.

2007-10-31T22:33:00.000+08:00

haha. maybe i should change.
there ARE friends who care.
there is love. careness in this people.
:)

"i smile.
what?
he smiles.
love is a beautiful thing, kid."

2007-10-11T21:07:00.000+08:00

THE END.

oh well.
emo emo.
tears.
sorrow.
pain.
stupid.
dumb.
anger.
disappointment.
demoralised.
disappointment.
anger.
dumb.
stupid.
pain.
sorrow.
tears.

THE END.

2007-08-25T02:48:00.000+08:00

THE END.

there it marks-the end.

2007-08-08T00:53:00.000+08:00

CIRCLES

here it goes agian; circles never end;

farewell once again.
in less than a year from the previous.

as it's said, circles never end.

when you're at it's end,

you'll find that you're standing at the beginning of another.

so do not close this chapter of your life just yet,

coz it's just the beginning,
of something better; lifelong relationships.

like what my dajie said..

it's just gonna be less than a year.

no matter how much dislike there is between two people,

once you're on court, everything will be perfectly normal.

TEAMMATES

what's on court will be on court.

once you're outta the rectangle, it's all you.

involve everyone.

be mature.

ohwell..

there's bound to be some shit.

try, keep trying. tried-failed.

what's the point?

try, keep trying. tried-it became onlyslightly better.

maybe there's hope, but the uncertainty, the 'outofplace' feeling.

point still there?

try, keep trying. still trying-...

i control my actions. i control my thoughts.

THANKYOU you all :)

think back..

1 team, 1 game, 1 goal.

"SRJC team!"

wear your home chothes day.

bio lecture test results: :D :D

effort does pay i'd say? lol.

interview later at 9.

howhow?

long weekend ohyes!

parents: a whole new thing.

mum: depression? she's scary. i'm scared.

dad: mood swings. real bad.

affected badly.

sis: hostel.

sis: does not help.

bro: play and play.

me: MOST PROBLEMATIC one.

sorry ma and daddy.

the end.

2007-08-05T23:10:00.000+08:00

RE-LIVE.

maybe thinking back isn't such a good idea.
maybe anticipating the future isn't all that great.
maybe i just wanted to go back.
maybe i never really wanted it.

i just thought..
it's done.

but now's the new.
and i want it all.
but then again, it might happen all over again.
re-live the horror.
re-live the pain.
re-live the living dead.

relieve it msLovely.

2007-07-31T23:45:00.000+08:00

DOWN down..

fatigue-
pain.

tired-
pain.

dread-
pain.

death-
free.

2007-07-27T00:24:00.000+08:00

"First love yourself, then you can love someone else

If you can change someone else, then you have saved someone else

But you must first love yourself, then you can love someone else

If you can change someone else, then you have saved someone else

But you must first..."

First love yourself, or if you can't,

2007-07-25T22:14:00.000+08:00

DISILLUSIONED.

free me.
want me.
love me.

stupid life.

2007-07-17T21:00:00.000+08:00

開不了口

才離開沒多久就開始擔心今天的妳過得好不好
整個畫面是妳想妳想的睡不著
嘴嘟嘟那可愛的模樣還有在妳身上香香的味道
我的快樂是妳想妳想的都會笑

沒有妳在我有多難熬 (沒有妳在我有多難熬多煩惱)
沒有妳煩我有多煩惱 (沒有妳煩我有多煩惱多難熬)
穿過雲層我試著努力向妳奔跑
愛才送到妳卻已在別人懷抱

就是開不了口讓她知道
我一定會呵護著妳也逗妳笑
妳對我有多重要我後悔沒讓妳知道
安靜的聽妳撒嬌看妳睡著一直到老

就是開不了口讓她知道
就是那麼簡單幾句我辦不到
整顆心懸在半空我只能夠遠遠看著
這些我都做得到但那個人已經不是我

就是開不了口讓她知道
我一定會呵護著妳也逗妳笑
妳對我有多重要我後悔沒讓妳知道
安靜的聽妳撒嬌看妳睡著一直到老

就是開不了口讓她知道
就是那麼簡單幾句我辦不到
整顆心懸在半空我只能夠遠遠看著
這些我都做得到但那個人已經不是我

2007-05-20T03:29:00.000+08:00

reflections of the past.
words of today.
a mind for tomorrow.

damn this irritating feeling.

2007-05-20T00:27:00.000+08:00

why oh why?
what is wrong?

If I Fall.
This is for the ones who believe their lives won't change
Hoping then someday things will mend and be the same
And this is for the ones who have lost it all and all that's left to gain
Is a simple reminder that the things that were blind to slip away...

How can I say...Say I'll be okay...

And if I fall through these days that go by without cause
Just a painful mistake has left me here on my own
And if I fall through these nights I can't seem to go on
Just a sign that you're with me gives me the strength to hold on

Now that the lines been broken
I'm too afraid to just look back
The pages have left an empty space
You were all I had
Why does it have to be this way
These things they'll never change
Still I'm left with knowing, content and happy, this is all I need...

And if I fall through these days that go by without cause
Just a painful mistake has left me here on my own
And if I fall through these nights I can't seem to go onJ
ust a sign that you're with me gives me the strength to hold on

And if I fall through these days that go by without cause
Just a painful mistake has left me here on my own
And if I fall through these nights I can't seem to go on
Just a sign that you're with me gives me the strength to hold on...

poor miss L .

2007-05-11T00:22:00.000+08:00

masquerade.

paper faces on parade.

2007-05-03T23:34:00.000+08:00

to give up? or to move on..

i wish for us to continue on like this?
i dunno.

i felt like everything was actually falling into pieces,
especially when i started becoming fond of ya.
but then someone else came along.
i'm afraid to lose.
neither am i intent on getting you and 'win' this.
but the feeling is really horrible.
plus the weather these days gets on my nerves at times though it is really nice.
but i do hope another step can be taken.
and the someone else stops being the other.
coz i really do.. uh huh.

come to me.

think i'm gonna be crying in bed tonight.

horrible.

now i know how horrible i am.

goodnight/goodbye.

2007-05-03T23:18:00.000+08:00

this feeling sucks.
:(

totally seriously honestly.
i'm feeling super super depressed and down.
:( :(

i want your help.
i want you.

one more time.

2007-04-27T00:27:00.000+08:00

once again.

i went through something really dumb and uncalled for.
i dunno why but it just affected me.
small thing=big impact.
i'm gussing, maybe i should just ignore it?
or live and deal with it?
or just forget it?
i'm so sorry.
i'm just a nuisance.

ohwell. :(
won't be able to watch them play ltr for the vj match.
i'm super duper upset bout it.
thinking that what has happened for the past few days isn't as upsetting enough.
:( :( seriously crap.
just let me go la..

i was 16 just bout 9 days ago.
now i feel i'm old and..i dunno.
and i really wanna make a special shoutout to my classmates who did make an effort to make the day special.
coz i really din expect anything from anyone since it's just 17.
but they really made it work.
and they are SUPERB 'liars' i tell you!
thanks to all those who wished me too. :)
you all are seriously the BEST!
unlike..i dunno. stupid things shan't be said.

anyway.
PW sucks! left right up down.
i dunno what's the freakin point of taking this subject at all.
i rather just concentrate on other subjects like MATH!.
damn it damn it.

BAD tummy upset for 3 days!
crappy crappy.
LACK OF PRECIOUS SLEEP.
dumb thing to say coz i'm sitting here doing this now.
THINKING of whatever's gonna/will happen.
i just want you to be here now.
i enjoy seeing you in school everyday.
NO LIFE.
school, training, home, tutorials, sleep.
my mundane day to day workout.
DISGUSTED!
can't believe you were like that last time and now you're like this.
really and honestly..
SETTLE down PLEASE.
the life you lead is really hypocritical coz what you said in the past that you din like,
you're doing it all now.
THANKFULLY: i'm DONE.
now i understand how the earlier one felt.
and i know what it's like to turn one year older to that age.
you're not havoc ya know.
you're just having this unbreakable mask on that hides what you really are inside:
cold? heartless? i dunno.

i forgot to say..
yesterday wednesday.
training halfway and it poured elephants.
so we went to have dinner at kovan.
guessed who i saw?
ANNE LIM and WENFENG!
missed them loads la!
i saw anne and i immediately threw my bag and ran to hug them.
haha. really pleased to meet them..
shall be meeting anne soon i hope? with LU!

sorry i pissed you off just now..
sometimes i should just be quiet.

a lil help to strip the soreness please?

[come to me. i can be. what you need.]

.solitude.

2007-04-25T00:27:00.000+08:00

i love them.
i love them all.
but it's sad to know what's gonna happen in less than a months time.

today:
oh well.
everything said was/is true.
all the encouragements and stuffs.
can't imagine if i din go..
the whole process though tideous, painful.
but it was WELL WORTH it. seriously.
never once have i felt this way:
belonged, loved, cared.
not once was i:
neglected, just a hindrance, useless.
tell me honestly what will happen.
coz i might not be able to take it.
DANG!
why am i feeling this way?

i was thinking at the back of my mind..
how sometimes what i all said was so contradicting.
if only i myself had that kinda thought.
nonsense i tell you.
i crap loads.

allow me to explain/confess it all to you one day babe.
hopefully you wont freak.

2007-04-15T19:31:00.000+08:00

so..
just when i thought life was heading for the better,
it all came crashing down once again.
how dumb and stupid i am.--

i was trying to find myself for the past 4 days.
and i found nothing.
other than the fact that i am an idiot,
i view many things differently,
and i am lousy. i AM.

hmm. so,
met up with the group ytd.
they surprised siying and i with this cup of icecream for our birthday.
so sweet. :) it's cool.
talked loads bout what's happening to joleen.
really missed the whole lot.
though something horrible happened in the middle of orchard road.
but i'm just thinking it's sadness that took over her.

anyway..
yeah.
i'm super disappointed and depression may just very well start to take over.
1) class.
2) PW grouping.
3) basketball.
i dunno. i'm thinking of whether to hang/hold on..
or just give up.

i found miss lovely whom i can talk to much.
but she's gotta study and cope with her own stuff.
i can't be possiby disturbing her.
[superman promises.]
was messaging her bout my disappointments and stuff.
hmm. but i guess in the end i have to figure myself out.
oh. but i know what i want.
i dunno whether it's possible between..
but maybe and hopefully one day soon i'll know.
though i really hope it won't be like the last.

i realised the importance of not sleeping in lectures.
and i should stop and start concentrating.
amazingly i could understand a lil of maths.
but i'm completely lost for bio.
"don't lag behind!"
there's PW to cope with..
and i better ace it.
together with chinese coz it's the only year and the last i'm gonna take it.

...
i saw/read some stuffs i expected/unexpected to see.
and i was LAUGHING my head off in the inside!
HA!.
i won't be praying for you..
but i just hope that whatever comes YOUR way,
hopefully you'll know what to/what NOT to do.
coz for ONE: you DO NOT know how it feels like to be hurt.
TWO: you NEVER care bout how others would feel.
THREE: you are the one that changed. not me.
and you WILL keep changing as long as you get SICK of whoever.
and know what?
i seriously DO NOT care bout what you say eventhough it was just something lil.
BLESS your life as i bless my own and hope you'll live it well.
congrats to you as you moved on.

i miss my friends.
i probably should go for some consultation and stuffs just to keep myself sane.
coz i might just end up doing some other stupid stuffs to keep my minds off.

till then i'd say
goodbye and goodnight to this world.

2007-04-07T01:26:00.000+08:00

feels like life is again like that time.

anyway..
i hope life in jc is beginning to take place as i settle.
lol. rubbish.
all the sleeping in lectures and stuff.
and my class.. my class..
well. i dunno what to say but..
hmm.

have been going through quite many things lately from march to today.

2nd orientation:
i was in bismarck 6.
gotta know quite a number of nice and fun people. :)
i ponned 2nd day and it was worth it despite being hounded for the next day.

temp timetable started the next week..
i slept almost every lecture. how great.
and i've began to pon lectures i think is a waste of time.
lol.

basketball malaysia trip:
i missed the last day of orientation to go for this.
and i really DO NOT regret one moment of the whole time.
my roommate was my ahghost.
she's still a lil bit scary though. hehs.
but she's real nice. :)
the team's nice.
time should have just stopped.

award's ceremony:
i realised i missed SO many people.
and i realised how much i really dont like the school anymore.
THANK YOU SO MUCH STUPID VP.

then there was bball bbq at susan's house.
fun and fun.
everyone got 'attached' by the end of the day. haha.
and the super gross uncles/aunties dancing with the lamppost.
it rained just when we ended.
nice day. :)

last few weeks:
just been sleeping in lectures again.
missed talking to lu so much.
stuck and hopefully get used and love my class for the next 2 years.
PW is crap!-waste of time and effort.
basketball-realtively good.

oh oh!
and not to mention morning runs with eunice on tuesdays at 6.30.
we are NOT crazy.
and also runs after school.
i think i'm not crazy..
but there's this thing in my mind thats..
hmm. hehs.

wednesday:
had friendly with NY.
and there were 3 dumdumbs who left their bags in the bus!
guess who? lol.
so we travelled all the way to tanjong pagar to retrieve our bags.
then we just sat at the roadside munching fries/onion rings and ate mr bean.
well worth the day. :)
a memoriable day as a j1 though. haha.
shall upload the random pics i took some time later.

thursday:
after just chatting for awhile with lu this day..
i felt so damn much better.
thank god for her. :)

today/yesterday's many people's birthday..
oh and i thought i knew many people's birthday falls in april..
but my class has none. lol.
feel so bad not being able to celebrate with them there.

alright..
that's bout it.

life shall begin i hope?
please let it not take me back to those stupid days.
otherwise i shall just die.

[i will try and find my place]

let me give it all to you..

2007-03-04T23:44:00.000+08:00

i think i'm fat.
i think i'm fat.
i think i'm fat.
yes i am fat.

and one day.
i wanna be skin and bones.
i really do.

another day.
i'd cut myself so deep i'd be bleeding non stop.

next.
i'd drink abd drink and drink till my liver spoils.

then.
shave my head bald for the thrill of it.

after.
i'd tell my dearest people who are dear to me..
that i love them.

maybe up to this point of time..
i'd feel i've fulfiled what i wanna fulfil.
then i'd go in peace.

no one can say how sensible/insensible i am or was.
no one can say i'm stupid anymore.
and i won't always be in second for once.

this very day would be my ONE day without worries.
and also the very day i'd find out the sweetest thing in this life.
life would give up on me and not me giving up on it.
every relationship would cease.
i will BE happy.

2007-03-04T23:35:00.000+08:00

why are things becoming more and more sucky?

2007-02-25T18:16:00.000+08:00

In the day In the night
Say it right Say it all
You either got it Or you don't
You either stand Or you fall
When your will Is broken
When it slips From your hand
When there's no Time for joking
There's a hole In my plan

Oh you don't mean nothing at all to me
No you don't mean nothing at all to me
But you got what it takes to set me free
Oh you could mean everything to me

I can't say (Say)That I'm not (Not)
Lost (Lost)And at fault (Fault)
I can't say (Say)That I don't (Don't)
Love the light (Light)And the dark
I can't say That I don't (Don't)
Know that I (Am)Am alive
And I love What I feel (Feel)
I could show (Show you) You tonite, you tonite

Oh you don't mean nothing at all to me
No you don't mean nothing at all to me
But you got what it takes to set me free
Oh you could mean everything to me

From my hands I could give you Something That I made
From my mouth I could sing you Another bridge That I made
From my body (From my body) I could show you (I could show you)
A place (A place) God knows (That only God knows)
You should know Space is holy (Ahh)
Do you really Wanna go?

(Hey, hey, hey)
(You don’t mean nothing at all, to me)
(Hey, hey)(Hey, hey, hey)
(You don’t mean nothing at all, to me)

2007-02-14T00:19:00.000+08:00

today was pure fun. :)

went out with lu and nicki.
guess what we did?!
we walked down from far east..
all the way down to suntect/marina square..
then to clarke quay.
:) feel so so great.
i accomplised what i've been wanting to do..

shall blog more tmr i guess?
will fill in all the blanks.

(tomorrow WILL BE a sucky day)
i'm sick. FINALLY. :D

2007-02-02T23:08:00.001+08:00

damn blogger.
i typed a whole lota stuff and it coludn't publish.

2007-02-02T22:06:00.000+08:00

i've been sleeping in lectures. :)
i've had many injuries from sports. :) :)
and the class is really good. :) :) :)

it's cool..
so amazing that we actually went out on wednesday to bugis for no apparent reason.
got to know more bout the peoples and their lives.
we practically walked the whole of bugis?
they even went to guanyin temple to pray.
then we ate wanton mee and prata. hehs.
cool cool people.
yeah.
and today we celebrated some people's birthdays..
we rushed to kovan to get cake.
and at 3, we just sat there and started talking crap.
REALLY crap.
bout wet dreams (haha) and having wives.. one for each day.

ayway.. basketballs fun.
it's nice..
the people are nice.
and training's tough.. it keeps me sane..
yeah.

hmm..
tomorrow's cross country.
yay? haha.
maybe going out after.

alright. that's bout it.
results are gonna be out really soon. damn.
sigh.
i don't wanna stay.. but i dunno..

oh oh..
i've got some seniors who say i look like this girl..
hmm.. nevermind.

ok then.
bye.

2007-01-20T00:52:00.000+08:00

There's A Place In
Your Heart
And I Know That It Is Love
And This Place Could
Be Much
Brighter Than Tomorrow
And If You Really Try
You'll Find There's No Need
To Cry
In This Place You'll Feel
There's No Hurt Or Sorrow

There Are Ways
To Get There
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Little Space
Make A Better Place...

Heal The World
Make It A Better Place
For You And For Me
And The Entire Human Race
There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Better Place
For You And For Me

If You Want To Know Why
There's A Love That
Cannot Lie
Love Is Strong
It Only Cares For
Joyful Giving
If We Try
We Shall See
In This Bliss
We Cannot Feel
Fear Or Dread
We Stop Existing And
Start Living

Then It Feels That Always
Love's Enough For
Us Growing
So Make A Better World
Make A Better World...

Heal The World
Make It A Better Place
For You And For Me
And The Entire Human Race
There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Better Place
For You And For Me

And The Dream We Were
Conceived In
Will Reveal A Joyful Face
And The World We
Once Believed In
Will Shine Again In Grace
Then Why Do We Keep
Strangling Life
Wound This Earth
Crucify Its Soul
Though It's Plain To See
This World Is Heavenly
Be God's Glow

We Could Fly So High
Let Our Spirits Never Die
In My Heart
I Feel You Are All
My Brothers
Create A World With
No Fear
Together We'll Cry
Happy Tears
See The Nations Turn
Their Swords
Into Plowshares

We Could Really Get There
If You Cared Enough
For The Living
Make A Little Space
To Make A Better Place...

Heal The World
Make It A Better Place
For You And For Me
And The Entire Human Race
There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Better Place
For You And For Me

There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Better Place
For You And For Me

You And For Me
You And For Me
You And For Me
You And For Me
You And For Me
You And For Me
You And For Me
You And For Me
You And For Me
You And For Me
You And For Me

2007-01-16T22:56:00.000+08:00

with life, there's death.

with love, there's hate.

with smiles, there's tears.

with light, there's darkness.

with today, there's tomorrow.

with hellos, there will be goodbyes.

2007-01-10T23:08:00.000+08:00

do you care at all?
no.. no.

sigh.
school's sucky.
everything's sucky.
dang.

got a new haircut.
real fed up with the old stuff.
i should stop cutting though. ha.
but i will again soon enough.
i'll keep the length.

met up with jayda and rachel.
bumped into janetta.
school's still super sucky.
i hear the same stuff they(the girls) talk bout everyday!
guess!! you'll know it.
the people in my group suck.
orientation suck.
the food suck.
lessons suck.
teachers suck.
whatever lar.
that's for being really stupid.
and for doing stupid things the last year.

can't wait to get my civic group.
not used to lecture style.
i gotta have tutorial so can ask tutors questions!

went for the basketball trail today.
damn damn tired.
but i've got my mind set on touch rugby.
lucia's got hers on soccer.
and i don't want those people to know.
seriously piss with them.
the rugby girls seem quite nice. hehs.
well. all of them do. lol.
i'm gonna go for the training on friday.
can't wait.

anyhow.
tmr gonna skip bio lecture and meet up with nicki.
i've gotta go for computing.
and it's fun but real stupid.
pseudo codes are interesting. ha.
so i'm only gonna go for GP and computing and actuall bio.
but the stupid bio lecture starts at 2.30 and my last lesson before that ends at 11.30.
wth ok.

contacts are making my eyes grow smaller.
idiotic.

chingay practice on sat.
there's global warming going on badly.
for goodness sakes. please stop global warming.

ok.
i should just go and die.
bye.

it's gonna be almost 2 months!

i needed you.

and i still do.

2006-12-06T23:13:00.000+08:00

i'm gonna be going..
i'm gonna be gone.
and i'd dread coming back.
i promise.

BYE.

oh.
to olsen: ha! i miss slacking there too!
especially aft soaking in the rain.
hmm. you're bday?
do i care? lols. kidding.
cheers!

i've got 20 cuts everywhere. whoo.

2006-12-02T22:24:00.000+08:00

i dunno what i'm going to type..
coz my mind's really in a mess now.

IT'S DECEMBER!!
i DISLIKE december.
someone PLEASE open my heart.
i'm begging..
i'm pleading.
and i know i won't enjoy christmas..

it's a hell lot more stress now then it was studying for o's.
i promise.
i don't know why..

anyway. let's continue..

i went to the zoo on wednesday! :)
hee hee. had much of fun.
esp with the peeps..:
jayda, anne, feng, jaime and gina.
took lotsa pictures. MANY.
but there's no one to share with so i won't upload..
it's the first time going out with them..
and being with the animals.
but it's really ex though. 20 bucks.
i still don't know if it's worth.
but the fun was worth it.
the next outing is still pending. :)

hmm..
so.. prom was on the 21st. at king's hotel.
i didn't want to go. but people like mum forced me.
so i went and i didn't enjoy myself.
awhile into the programme and i started complaining.
you can ask melissa or jacq. ha.
debby wasn't there too.. so yeah.
and i din win any of the lucky draws.
that was the reason of me going coz my mum wanted me tho go because of that.
then i went home and guess what i did after?
i snuck out to go mos. :D
i'm proud of it.
was there with ro, tang, sam they all.
it was fun..
especially to get into that trance with the loud music.
and yeah..
found out some stuffs too..
that really hurt me bad.
that's why i wanted drinks.
but they din allow me.
so yeah.

and this week is horror:

i asked. but i dunno.
for fun? i doubt so.
i know.
there's no need to hide.
the truth is out. the colours are painted.
it's all there.
i'm tired. very tired.
maybe this is what i'm meant to be?
always the second.
yeah.. i should just settle for that.

oh..
this i s a warning to EVERYONE!
DO NOT GO IKEA TAMPINES.
you have to queue to get in.
and it's super duper LONGGGG.
even at 10 at night. ha.
i know. trust me.
i just came back from there but didn't even step in coz of the long queue.

urhh..
i should be dead by now.
just leave me alone.
i miss people..
yani, beryl.. lols.
but i do.

bye.

give me a dream to dream about.

give me a life to live.

give me a hope for the future.

give me one reason to continue this life.

2006-09-29T16:48:00.000+08:00

Oh, Oh
I'm not missing you

Been through just about everything that I could go through
When it comes to relationships
Don't know what I was missing or why I ain't listen
When I told myself that was it
Now here I go, hurt again
Cause of my curiousity
Now that t's over
What else could it be, she just had to cheat

I made a promise never to settle
Why didn't I keep it?
Cause I hated the heartbreak
Crying and cheating, the fooling around

[chorus]
(But) I'm not missing you
I'm not going through the motions
Waiting and hoping you call me
I'm not missing you
You might have had me open
But I must be going because
I got life to do
I know I'm usually hanging on
I used to hate to see you gone
But this time it's different
I don't even feel the distance
I'm not missing
I'm not missing you

It's a shame in a way cause
I feel that I may not ever find the right one for me
Did I leave her, is she right in front of my face oh
Will my true love ever be?
Why would I go on a search again
When I know what the end will be
What good is love when it keeps on hurting me?

I made a promise never to settle
Why didn't I keep it?
Cause I hated the heartbreak
Crying and cheating, the fooling around

[Chorus x 2]
(But) I'm not missing you
I'm not going through the motions
Waiting and hoping you call me
I'm not missing you
You might have had me open
But I must be going because
I got life to do
I know I'm usually hanging on
I used to hate to see you gone
But this time it's different
I don't even feel the distance
I'm not missing
I'm not missing you

No I can't be with you
Cause I'm scared felt like I was falling when you left me
I can't keep going through life
Unaware of what I missed
And the person I could be
Love's good when it's right
And when it's left in your memory
All the times I let you down
I guess love will be nice for someone else's life

[Chorus]
(But) I'm not missing you
I'm not going through the motions
Waiting and hoping you call me
I'm not missing you
You might have had me open
But I must be going because
I got life to do
I know I'm usually hanging on
I used to hate to see you gone (I used to hate it)
Oh different, oh feel the distance
I''m not missing
I'm not missing you

I'm not going through the motions
Waiting and hoping you call me (knockin' at my door)
You might have had me open
But I must be going because (it's the best day of my life)
I know I'm usually hanging on
I used to hate to see you gone
Oh different, feel the distance

I'm not missing
I'm not missing you I'm not missing you (oh baby)
I'm not missing you
I'm so over you
It ain't even a problem

2006-09-29T16:17:00.000+08:00

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!
FUCK OFF!

2006-08-25T13:54:00.000+08:00

each night i taste..
the purest of pain..

2006-07-21T21:52:00.000+08:00

hello.
i got this off an email gris sent me..
it's really very meaningful. i promise.
scroll down.. see why..

Did you know ???

Did you know that when you envy someone, it's because you really like that person?

Did you know that those who appear to be very strong in heart, are real weaklings and most succeptible?

Did you know that those who spend their time protecting others are the ones that really need some one to protect them?

Did you know that the three most difficult things to say are : I love you, Sorry and help me. The people who say these are those that actually need them or really feel them, and they are the ones you really need to treasure, because they have said them.

Did you know that people who occupy themselves by keeping others company or helping others are the ones that actually need your company and help?

Did you know that those who dress in red are more confident in themselves?

Did you know that those who dress in yellow are those that enjoy thier beauty?

Did you know that those who dress in black, are those who want to be unnoticed and need your help and understanding?

Did you know that when you help someone, the help is returned in two folds?

Did you know that those who need more of you are those that did not mention it to you?

Did you know that it's easier to say what you feel in writting than saying it to someone in the face?But did you know that it has more value when you say it in the face?

Did you know that what is most difficult for you to say or do is much more valuable than anything that is valuable that you can buy with money?

Did you know that if you ask for something in faith, your wishes are granted?

Did you know that you can make your dreams come true, like falling in love, becoming rich, staying healthy, if you ask for it by faith, and if you really knew, you'd be surprised by what you could do.

But don't believe everything I tell you, until you try it for yourself , if you know someone that is in need of something that I mentioned of,and you know that you can help,you'll see that it will be returned in two folds.

DID YOU KNOW THAT YOU COULD ALWAYS COUNT ON ME???... AT THE MOMENT, TIME AND PLACE THAT YOU NEED ME, CALL ME, I WILL BE THERE WITH YOU !!!!!

"One day, we mad people will change the world...or we are already changing it " THE BALL IS NOW IN YOUR COURT... If the world were to end in 24 hours,all the phone lines, chat rooms and email will be saturated from people sending messages to others, saying: "I regret having made you feel bad", "Pardon me", "I love you", "I hold you in high esteem", take good care of yourself" and sometimes "I have always loved you, only I never told you".

Today, the ball of FRIENDSHIP is in your court, send this to those who truely are your friends. Also, do not feel bad if no one send this back to you in the end, you'll find out that you'll get to keep the ball for other people want more ...

anyway.. been feeling kinda F**Ked up today..
dunno why too.
maybe coz of the lessons and the heat.
and dear's sick.. :(
oh no..

i'm outta here..
bye..

i gotta have you by my side now.
and i wanna be there to take care of you..

2006-07-15T23:29:00.000+08:00

PLEASE REMEMBER.

btw, i just found out psp's 345 bucks in bugis.
:)

2006-07-07T18:28:00.000+08:00

today school release at 12. :)
haha. had quite a laugh today.
especially coz of that aye saw thi and her lame joks.
it's really stupid..

anyway..
there's something i really am wishing for..
a sony psp. :) haha.
might be impossible to get it but still..
i'm saving up..
it's more than 400 bucks can!
so far away..
i shall continue dreaming then..
at least i'll have a companion when i'm bored and alone.

i feel so dead.
bye.

i love you. i love you.
have fun. :)

2006-07-03T19:00:00.000+08:00

2006-06-23T02:08:00.000+08:00

me. my lil cousin. my bro. (at kuantan)

2006-06-23T01:27:00.000+08:00

there's gonna be P.O.P!!
woohoo!
first week of school on tuesday.
but it's gonna be during school hours. assembly.
sad man. its gonna small and constricted.
DAMN.

went back for band yesterday..
talked alot with cheryl..
saying bout this and that.
and mr tan's gonna be going!!
that's really really sad..
think it's coz of the band.

anyway.. school's starting on monday.
STUPID.
haven't even finish the damn english homework..
MANN. it's gonna be really stressful when school starts.
AARRHH!!
how to watch WC finals?!
and then there's people in class which i DON'T wish to see.
and the teachers! WTH!
whatever lar.

...
i don't get some things..
i dunno why too..
just that some parts just don't fit..
and i really don't understand.

i'm tired..
ran in and out of the stupid toilet today..

till next time..
never.
BYE..

there's not a star
in heaven that we can't reach.

2006-06-15T23:49:00.000+08:00

i follow my heart when it comes to success.
ha..

anyway.. havent been blogging for really really long.
coz there really is nothing to blog bout.
other than life's ok..

so tired..
went out the whole day today..
met quite a few friends.
and bought new clothes. lol. :)
tomorrow gonna go hospital visit dear's ma..
dear's been rather stressed. :(
(big big hug)

guess what.. i miss school.
or rather just siting down and studying.
coz i cannot do it at home. (it's too hot and also worrying bout dear)
and i needa go exercise before i'm put in the stupid club when school reopens.
and it sucks. whatever lar.

sigh.. i dunno what's wrong..
but i just feel something's missing..

it's amazing how you can speak right to my heart.
i love you.

2006-05-26T12:46:00.000+08:00

You, your flavor is Groovy Grapefruit
With a laidback style and anything-goes outlook, your groove is mellow yellow. People enjoy hanging out with you for your calming vibe and unique perspective on life. That's probably because you aren't one to let everyday stress get you down. In fact, your pals would say they've rarely seen your feathers ruffled. But as much as you enjoy the company of your compadres, you're just as happy to spend time solo. Why follow the crowd when you can chill down your own path?

2006-04-29T23:43:00.000+08:00

DAMNIT.
and i'm seriously hurt now.
fine.

anyway..
i think the saying:
music sooths the soul is really true.
went to nanyang jc to watch this arts performance thing.
my sister was performing.
and wow..
they were really musically inclined.
enjoyed myself somehow..
though wasn't really quite in a good mood.
i feel sick.
and i mean sick sick.
having a sore throat.
damn.
and was further worsen by some things.

i'm tired.
really tired.
but i don't intend to sleep.

and emaths paper yesterday sucked BIG time.
it really did..
and it's the first time i manage to finish my ss paper on time.
and i mean finish..
:) haha.

alright then.
off for now.

Well, I'm a man of many wishes
I hope my premonition misses
What I really feel
My eyes won't let me hide
Cuz they always start to cry.

2006-04-24T22:39:00.000+08:00

so..
mid-years have started.
and i haven't got down to studying yet..

anyway.. haven't been updating..
here's what's been happening.

180406.
sixteen wasn't a blast..
though i wished it was. with alcohol.
but it was sweet though..
with efforts of love ones..

190406.
into 4 months.
and i got a real surprise from dearest.
had fun that very day..
lotsa happy memories..

220406.
sophie's concert at st. andrew's.
WHOA!
the school's really huge.

hmm.
my phone's screwed up.
so i suppose..
stupid thoughts running..
now i can't message.
spare a thought bout me?
sigh..
this sucks.

bye.

2006-04-17T22:46:00.000+08:00

MANN!!
i can't wait for tomorrow!!
WOOHOO!!
i can't wait.. i can't wait..
:) :)
and i'm spending morning with friends.
afternoon with DEAREST.
night with family..
:) :)

anyway..
ENCORE II was GREAT! FANTASTIC!
i'm so so gonna...
dunno.
had fun..
real fun..

TOMORROW!!
:)
bye..

you light up my life.
i swear.
ONLY YOU!!

2006-04-06T00:14:00.000+08:00

-my universe is you because your
plentiful love makes up my universe-

i will love and cherish you..
never alone shall you be.
cause i will be right there..
i love you.

2006-04-02T17:36:00.000+08:00

i dunno why and how i got into this damn world..
and i dunno why i have this damn family.
i mean..i love my family.
but it gets hurting when no one takes sides for you..
when you ALWAYS get wrongly accused for NO damn reason.
and i mean ALWAYS.
WHATEVER.
i think you should just go live in a room..
without a computer.
and see all the withdrawal symtoms.
he's F**Kin pissing me off.

anyway..
i'm having a craving for tako balls..
went for luch just now but couldn't get it..
and i'm not even full..
feel like whipping something up..

hmm..the past week has been alright.
there was mission on monday and tuesday.
only the second day was nice though..
i wonder..really..i dunno.
then on thursday had heats.
and i promise i'm a failure.
a real one.. sigh.
and there wasn't even like anyone there to sooth me..
but it's over.
then friday had ss-sss for bout an hour or less?
limpy was super funny i tell you.
it's like another side of her that you don't see.
and i have two friends sitting beside me..
one was sleeping and the other was reading.
haha.
i was telling them why'd they even bother to come..
but yeah.
then i went home early for the first time..
manage to sleep for so so long..
then woke up to go compass and meet my mum.
and we bought lotsa food..
but we were rushing cause all of us wanted to rush home for the 9 o clock show..
hehs.

yesterday..
woke up early then went to meet michelle and emmelyn..
went to make the plagues for the conductors.
and the place was SO damn difficult to find.
and we had to walk all the way from this stop we stopped too far from in the heat.
lucky the place had air con.
otherwise all of us would've died.
so we made the thing..(it was really nice)
and at a good price too.
then we took a mercs cab to paya leber station.
and went to eat macs.
haha.
then after that i left first and travelled to chua chu kang.
went to meet my aunt with all the baby cousins and my mum.
the shopping mall there was so nice..
gotta go back there agian. :)
then after that headed to my aunts house.
played with all the cousins..

and she cooked some really nice home cooked dinner..
i really miss home cooked food..
miss the warm smell of food cooking whenever i get home..
that's why i like to go over..
and i don't like to stay at home.
everything's so cold..
then helped do some stuff first before heading home..
had loadsa fun..

yeah..
that's what much happened the week.
lets see.. am i looking forward to the next week?
i hope..

alright then..
bye..

the day will never be over..
because we're keeping the dream alive..
mission's nice.. :)

2006-03-27T00:55:00.000+08:00

Baby's back.. :)
i'm gone..
BYE.

2006-03-27T00:47:00.000+08:00

I wanna declare my love for YOU!
I LOVE YOU sweets. hehs.
and NOTHING shall get in our way.
cause i'll make sure nothing does..
i'm never gonna leave you dear.

anyway..
so.. she's gone off to the airport to fetch her dad..
and i'm here waiting..
tomorrow we're gonna have mission.
so we're gonna skip ALL lessons.
WOOHOO!
5 periods of english and PE gone!!
HA! good.

hmm..
yesterday was awards ceremony.
quite alright..
but somethings missing from last year.
the difference i felt was really big.
anyway..
sweets was there too. :)
after the whole thing the whole gang of us rushed to the canteen for food.
and i meant RUSH.
and we took ALOT of food.
then we plunged ourselves at the netball poles there and just sat down and ate and ate and ate.
haha.
everyone was super full i tell you..
super duper full. hehs.
uh huh.
and sherianne IS cute.
-winks at Baby-
haha. kidding lar..

then after eating.
we cleared the court and walked over to compass.
went to macs and ate again.
poor easwary and gris.
sigh..
then gris went home.
and the rest of us went to esplanade.
:)
so fun..though i had to leave soon after.
stupid lar.

then liddat lar.
reached home and went to bed immediately after.
was super tired..

yeah..
bye..

2006-03-17T00:52:00.000+08:00

Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like its been forever that you've been gone

She said somedays I feel like shit
Somedays I wanna quit and just be normal for a bit
I don't understand why you have to always be gone
I get along but your trips always feel so long
And I find myself trying to stay by the phone
'Cause your voice always helps me to not feel so alone
But I feel like an idiot, working my day around a call
And when I pick up I don't have much to say,
so I want you to know its a little fucked up that I'm stuck here waiting,
at times debatin
Telling you that I've had it with you and your career
Me and the rest of the family here singing

Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like its been forever that you've been gone
Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like its been forever that you've been gone
Please Come back home

You know, the place you used to live
Used to barbeque with burgers and ribs
Used to have a little party every halloween with candy by the pile but now you only stop by every once in a while
Shit I find myself just filling my time
With anything to keep the thought of you from my mind
I'm doing fine and I'm plannin' to keep it that way
You can call me if you find that you have something to say

And I'll tell you I want you to know its a little fucked up that
I'm stuck here waiting, at times debating
Telling you that I've had it with you and your career
Me and the rest of the family here singing

Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like its been forever that you've been gone
Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like its been forever that you've been gone
Please Come back home

I want you to know its a little fucked up that
I'm stuck here waiting, no longer debatin'
Tired of sittin and hatin' and making these excuses
For why you're not around, and feeling sorta useless
It seems that one thing has been true all along
You don't really know what you've got till its gone
I guess I've had it with you and your career
When you come back I won't be here and you can sing it

Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like its been forever that you've been gone
Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like its been forever that you've been gone
Please come back home
Please come back home
Please come back home
Please come back home
Please come back home...

2006-03-15T22:54:00.000+08:00

love me for me..

2006-03-15T22:34:00.000+08:00

"and i said to stay strong..
but i fell weak.
and he said to never give up..
i didn't. but the mind wants to and is forcing me to."

finally no more band.
band's fun. great.
but 3 days in a row..
no thanks.

DAMN IT!
i want my damn freedom.
i doubt i'll even get it when i turn 18.
THIS SUCKS!
why won't they let me go??
it'd be amazing if i don't go crazy.
social life also must restrict.
school life also restrict.
home life also restrict.
LET ME GO!!!

2006-03-13T21:38:00.000+08:00

this sucks.
i feel like a total piece of shit.
with total failure.
ah whatever.
i'm just tired.
aiyah.
stupid lar.
just cause no one's replying me..

and this someone who doesn't wanna give me details bout some alumni thing.
WHATEVER OK?!
keep it all to yourself.
i'll find out sooner or later too mann.

anyway..
i had fun today..
sent my honey for her first day in school.
then after that had REAL lotsa fun.
yesterday too! :)
posted the pictures up too.

i want i want i want..
MY angel's love right now.

bye.
tv time..

i'm shining like a candle in the dark,
when you tell me that you love me..

2006-03-07T22:48:00.000+08:00

i'm sorry.
i suck.
goodnight.

2006-03-04T17:19:00.000+08:00

ups and downs..
and ups and downs..
that's what i know of right now..

school's sucky.
everything's sucky.
i might just be mad the week before O's
and i know the dates already.
it's crazy.
and the damn school doesn't allow us to attend remedials just to practice for a.c
they're CRAZY!
and i was actually coping rather well.
DAMN!

i feel like doing something..
something outta this world..
something no one else has done..
nothing harmed..
just something undone to be done..

ah whatever..
anyway..yesterday had rehearsal.
then went to meet my angel.
and there was this psycho guy who followed me up the escalator shouting excuse me..
then when i went into popular..
he was still shouting excuse me..
i turn to my side and looked at him and he was smiling like one crazy man.
uurgh.
then i went to the books there to talk to my angel
and guess what..the minute i talked to her..
he immediately turned around and ran off.
HA! crazy..

anyway..
i dunno..
many things have been happening recently..
i'm not too sure myself..
maybe i'm just scaring myself.
there are so many why's..
why this why that?
forget it..
nothing at all..?

~~cause when there is selfishness,~~
it overrules everthing.
it takes charge of your life
leaving you uncontrolled of your own self.

2006-02-05T23:43:00.000+08:00

hello..
finally back since ages..

so..
it was chingay yesterday..
and i bloody hell forgot to bring the damn camera cause i took the batt out to charge.
how smart.
but overall had hell lot of a great time..:)
watching the parade and stuff..
and fish and co..
and just going out with my angel..
saw many many people though..
at Heeren.. haha.
and the bast thing is..
we went to Heeren thinking our entrance was at Sector 3..
but when we went to ask.. the person pointed to some place cross the road..
and when we went there..
there was already this super super long queue..
and we were still inside heeren looking around and she bought CD before that..
hehs.. :)
but we still got quite a good view..
and caught Nadiah.. :)
haha.

hmm..

yeah. that's bout it..

it's boring..

glad i did all my work..

except geog notes which i'm still doing..

and tests here and there to study..

hurr..whatever..

outta here..

till dunno when..

BYE!

2006-01-27T00:03:00.000+08:00

If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all

I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don't know why you're so far away
But I know that this much is true
We'll make it through

And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you're the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right
And though I can't be with you tonight
You know my heart is by your side

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

2006-01-26T23:46:00.000+08:00

and i'm so glad i found YOU. :)

2006-01-26T23:35:00.000+08:00

mann.
this week has been tough.
all i want is you.
right now. right here.

sigh.
everyday's work and work and work.
even tomorrow's not half day.
whatever lar.

all the stupid tests coming up.
and lotsa revision to start.
and homework.
i want a break..

bye bye..
:)
bless all of you.
bless us all.
bless ME and YOU.
i love you dear.

2006-01-13T23:28:00.000+08:00

YO!!
today was karang guni-ing day.
haha. had lotsa fun.
but was really tired in the end.
BUT we collected many many things.
4F class spirit and unity was really great. :)
i'm happy. but i'm tired.
hmm.. really had lotsa fun with lu nikki meena eulynn and all the rest.
:) :)

we went back to class. discussed some stuff.
then i went down to help shift the percussion stuff with the help of...
LUCIA NIKKI and MEENA!!
THANKS ALOT ya'll. sorry to trouble you peeps.
but really thanks.
after that we could leave for home.
i went to her house all dirty and smelly. :)
hehs.
fun fun and fun.

oh wells. :)
and yesterday was SUPER SUPER boring.
also dunno why they make us do this kinda excursions.
ha. and worst of all it rained the whole day.
i was shivering wherever i went.
especially on the bus.

yeah.
that's what's been happening while the whole school goes for camps.
and next monday's down to work and work and work till the end.
damn it.
monday got 5 english periods.
DIE BIG TIME! sigh.
hmm.
won't be blogging so often anymore i guess.

the NINETEEN'S COMING!!
woohoo!!
i LOVE you!

LOVE ALL YOU ALL PEOPLE!
have fun mann.
enjoy.
till then.
BYE!

2006-01-12T00:31:00.000+08:00

haha.
gromming day today.
hmm. tired tired and tired.
so boring.
the food wasn't so great.
bla bla bla.
i've got nothing to say.

after that went over there.
had fun. sigh.
missed her like hell. :)
finally got to see her.

tomorrows this civic walk thing.
and my tummy's hurting badly.
just gonna die walking halfway i guess.

life is so so so boring.
i don't get to go out.
how do they even expect me to sit down and study when my bum's itching to GET OUT!
i needa getaway.
i NEED to go.
away form this place is all i want.
all i'm asking for.
i can just die here.

BYE!

2005-12-29T16:23:00.000+08:00

LALALALA
LALALALALA
LALALALALALA
LALALALALALALA
LALALALALALALALA
LALALALALALALALALA
LALALALALALALALALALA

2005-12-29T16:15:00.000+08:00

AHH. whatever lar.

i don't wanna cause any dispute alright.

just gonna do what i'm supposed to do..

i suck alright?

i'm anti social.

anyway.
school's gonna start.
damn.
work and work and work.
BYE.

2005-12-29T16:04:00.000+08:00

i didn't disappoint you all for goodness sakes.
someone else did.
she was the one who changed greatly.
yes i may have been late quite a few times.
but don't tell me you were never late before.
not once at all?
besides. here is for me to rant all i want.
you shoul be lucky i dont complain and stuff there.
cause i dont wanna affect us.
i have no say ok.
i really dont.
what i suggest she doesn't take in.
what can i do?
sectionals are to practice.
i practice and you say i disappoint you.
what's this mann?!

2005-12-29T00:14:00.000+08:00

and...
this song's totally nice and heart warming.
it's by westlife. :) with diana ross..
anyone with the song pls send me..
greatly appriciated.

"I wanna call the stars
Down from the sky
I wanna live a day
That never dies
I wanna change the world
Only for you
All the impossible
I wanna do

I wanna hold you close
Under the rain
I wanna kiss your smile
And feel the pain
I know what's beautiful
Looking at you
In a world of lies
You are the truth

And baby
Everytime you touch me
I become a hero
I'll make you safe
No matter where you are
And bring you
Everything you ask for
Nothing is above me
I'm shining like a candle in the dark
When you tell me that you love me

I wanna make you see
Just what I was
Show you the loneliness
And what it does
You walked into my life
To stop my tears
Everything's easy now
I have you here

In a world without you
I would always hunger
All I need is your love to make me stronger

You love me
When you tell me that you love me"

i love you.. i really do.

2005-12-28T23:44:00.000+08:00

:) BLESS this solitude life of mine. :)
only she can make me happy.

oh well.

band today. guess what?!
the 'BIG" one chased me outta the room with the damn excuse that someone requested that i go out and practice also.
OK. i listen.
and when i was really HAPPY by myself...
she came and asked me to join the rest.
FAT HOPE MANN!
just leave me alone alright?!
i don't mind being by myself.
besides..that's my section's spot.
you have no right whatsoever to ask me to move.
just SHOO ok.

ah..heck them.
bear with it for a few more months mann!
there's NO point complaining.
WHATEVER!

anyway..
other than that..
i'm happy. :)
i really am.
all thanks to my Queen and our little Prince.
:) :) hehs.
i started my day happy. :)
and i'm gonna end it with her happy.
cause she just makes my day whether at times we get mad or other times when we're really happy or sad.

yeah. that's today.
the good things are in my head.
for me to keep.
i'll keep warm dear. with you by my side.
i love you.
really really do..

bye life. :) it's the end.

2005-12-27T11:37:00.000+08:00

hello life.
whatever crap.
yesterday's a bad day.
first of all.
woke up on the wrong side of the bed.
and almost in tears.
not gonna talk bout it. and the rest..
narnia wasn't all that bad.
just the mood wasn't there and we got the corner seat on the second row.
whatever.
but..after the night..
things got better and we slept and now i'm here crapping.
:) oh wow.
all the past. forget bout it.
live the present MANN!

anyway..
waiting for her to wake up.
anticipating..
big sis is baking cookies.
just tried what she made. :)
it's quite tasty though. hehs.
now just waiting for the kitchen to cook lunch for all the bums.
i'm hungry..
after lunch i guess i'm just gonna do work and work and work.
damn it.
cheena compos still not done and guess what?!
it's a week till school starts! -rolls eyes-

i still want my fun..
i still wanna spend happy times with her..
i want i want i want. :(
wait for me ok?
i love you.
can't wait for tomorrow.
it'll be less than 24 hours tilll i get to see you...
sigh.

hmm..
and i think i'm starting to find out some stuff.
hope i'm wrong.
PLEASE tell me i'm wrong?
i really don't want anything or anyone to come in between.
like you said too.

guess i'm gonna ask?
what's a mouth for?
to ask questions and sought for answers DUH.
ask ask ask!

gotta start making new year resolutions soon..
all i know is that..
1) i'm not gonna fail YOU my dear.
2) i'm not gonna fail my studies too i hope.

christmas season's coming to an end.
i'm sorry i didn't really understand.
i really wasn't myself yesterday.
sorry.
and i do trust you.. i do.
sorry.
but at times i just get too sensitive i guess.
i'm sorry.
forgive me?

off for now.. till later.
if there ever is one.
BYE!